Really - who writes this stuff?

I recently had a problem with some software which I downloaded and the author of the software suggested I contact the on-line store I bought it from. The contact was all done by e-mail and what amazes me is the convoluted and ungrammatical replies I received:

Greetings from (name) Store! My name is J*, and I will be your (name) Store Advisor for today!.Before I proceed, I would like to apologize for the length of my email. I wish to provide you with all the information you'll need to reach a resolution.
Thank you for your interest in the (name) Store. I see that you are having incompatibility issues with the (software) you have downloaded. 
Martin, as much as I would like to further assist you on this, (name) Store account and billing Advisor like us is not technically trained to answer inquiry with regards to this. This is why I would like to point you to the ** Developer Relations, so we can get you the best possible support available. Please contact (name)

And then as the issue continued unresolved:

Thank you for your effort on following what I have suggested. I am not sure if that should be the response you should be receiving. Anyways, I tried my best again to research on this and got another article you to troubleshoot this issue.
Martin, below is the article you might be able to try to troubleshoot this issue by restarting your device then trying again. If restarting your device doesn't help, you can go ahead and reset it then try again. Please refer to this article for instructions:

Given the size of this company and that it's based in an English speaking country (with local offices) why is it so hard to write in clear, concise English? Sadly this same problem often occurs with local, Australian business or corporations. It's as if they think that writing convoluted, long sentences will make you think they really, really care.
Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect.